finding my footing

Hello hello! Am I the only one who feels each week feels more like a marathon? I’m betting it is not just me who holds that sentiment.  While I am grateful to be ‘fit’ enough to run the race, I am predictably exhausted at the end. (I feel like I have the authority to make this analogy as a runner, even if it has been a few years since my last marathon.) To take it further, I feel strong and confident in the beginning of the race, tackle a few hills early in the week, then hit the wall around Thursday afternoon. I eek out a finish on Friday afternoon, but it may involve limping across the finish line.

When the calendar turned to 2018, I created intentions, not resolutions. Intentions feel more flexible and somehow more attainable. My biggest intention for the year is to spend less time worrying. I have been a perpetual worrier for as long as I can remember and it is not my best trait. When I talk about these marathon weeks, I attribute much of the associated exhaustion to worrying about things that never happen. I also spend too much time focused on what others think. If I’ve learned anything during my days in the saddle, everyone else is focused on what they’re doing and they don’t have time to be worrying about you. My 18 year old self wishes she’d gotten this memo.

Another of my intentions is to be more deliberate with blogging, even if I can’t do it as often as I like. Posts when I wax poetic may not always hit a home run (there I go making another sports analogy, except I have no expertise in the baseball world), but it might resonate with someone out there. Whether I hit a foul ball or a grand slam with blogging, I don’t care: I just want to help another person on their journey. I just need to worry less when I press publish because — let’s face it — there are plenty of other fish in the sea. It might take pausing to write a post during the week to bring me back to center.

This brings me back to the marathon analogy. Does life ever feel less like a marathon and more like a stroll? Do we ever really find our footing? Or is it a lifelong search? I’m inclined to believe it is the latter. As soon as something feels constant, life shifts and we adapt again. Let’s be real: strolls don’t offer the same satisfaction that a marathon might. I am going to take this year in stride, worry less, (hopefully) blog more, and appreciate the journey.  I feel like I found my footing this week, but it may be a different story next week — and that’s ok by me. I hope your intentions for the year help you find your footing, even if you take a few steps back from time to time. xo